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This Week's Awful Woodworking Jokes...

Marvin refused to buy life insurance through the carpenters’ union, because he wanted his children and grandchildren to be genuinely sad when he died.

The shop owner supplied free coffee for his workers, but every time old Ernie drank a cup, his left eye hurt for days. Then one morning the owner watched him drink, and reached over to remove the spoon…

Harold sent the apprentice to the hardware store. “Get me a metal vise,” he said, “one with a quick release button. Oh, and if they have wooden shims, pick up a dozen.” The kid came back an hour later. “Here you go, boss,” he said. “They did have shims, so I picked up a dozen vises.”


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